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View Full Version : Calling a child 'naughty' can traumatise them, say experts


von-Scharnhorst
17-10-2006, 01:23 PM
Parents should not call their youngsters 'naughty' because it damages their self-confidence, a childcare expert controversially claimed.
Annette Mountford, chief executive of the parenting organisation, Family Links, said that children's self-esteem is run down by such branding, even if they are behaving badly.
Parents must not shout at their youngsters and should only call their behaviour naughty, rather than saying they are naughty themselves.
They should also stop referring to the "naughty step" - a disciplining technique from TV's Supernanny - in case their child thinks the word refers to them.
She said misusing the word can affect the "mental health" of both the child and the subsequently guilt-ridden parent. But other family groups yesterday condemned the demands from the head of the charity, which receives funding from the Department for Education and Skills and the Department of Health.
They argued that families need to be able to discipline their children without being subjected to politically correct "clap trap".
Mrs Mountford spoke out after a National Family and Parenting Institute survey found that more than eight out of ten parents who watch TV programmes like Supernanny have found a technique such as the 'naughty step' helpful.
She told BBC Radio Four's Today programme: "I would argue that using the word naughty is the problem.
"It's fine to be firm and consistent but you call that a naughty step and the child actually calls himself or herself naughty. That's really bad for them."
Despite quizzing, Mrs Mountford, who previously worked as a health visitor for 13 years, insisted that children are not naughty in themselves.
"Children have behaviour that is unacceptable and undesirable but I think if you use the word naughty it puts the parents and child in a really different frame set, in a much more antagonistic set," she said.
Parents should say: "What you have done is very naughty, I don't like the way you behaved" but not that 'you are naughty'.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=410738&in_page_id=1770&in_page_id=1770

No wonder, not just U.K, but in the whole Western world, school dicipline is falling apart.

Bring back the cane.

I also know now why the army are finding it hard to recruit suitable people. What use is a "soldier" that has never been even called "naughty" in his life? LET allone been shouted at.

I can see it now, a whole dock full of Regimental Sergeant majors, accused of raising their voice at the nannied recruits.

All the Taliban have to do is shout "Naughty boy, go home" and the British army all go running to Mummy to complain. "That nasty man shouted at me".

zoobee2
17-10-2006, 07:55 PM
haha. im naughty and i love it. (im sorry i couldnt resist)

but anyways, i need a list of all the things that i cant say to my kids. dont want to damage their precious little self esteems. god knows what we did before this information. obviously, all of us are seriously psychologically messed up from the trauma our parents caused us by disciplining us incorrectly.

whatever

von-Scharnhorst
18-10-2006, 02:22 PM
What gets me is this "Discuss it with them, reason with them why it is wrong to kick Granny in the fanny".

REASON??? With a 5 year old???

Damn, at 5 years old a chimpanze has more reasoning ability than a bastard. It's like trying to reason with a gold fish not to shit in it's bowl.

hallowedwarrior
19-10-2006, 06:34 PM
This is yet another example of people saying "I dont have to take responsibility for my actions", and people wonder why our political leaders cant take responsibility for their actions. If you kill someone doesnt that make you a murderer? If you steal something doesnt that make you a thief? So naturally if your child DOES something "naughty" it is natural to assume that they are "naughty" by association. I thought that the idea of calling your child naughty was to instill within them a disgust for being called that. So that whenever they did something they shouldn't you called them that and they would learn that if they didnt want to be called naughty they would refrain from doing things that they shouldnt.

Personally I'm scared of where all of this is leading. Where we have a world full of people who can't tell the difference between whats right and whats wrong. Who go out and kill people but who say they aren't "murderer's", that simply because they did something "naughty" does not make them "naughty" by association. Hell my parents spanked my ass as a kid and I learned real fast that if I didnt want to feel physical pain I had better straighten up and fly right. At the time I didn't fully understand the implications of what they were trying to do but later in life I can look back and thank them for doing what they did. When I have kids I will do the same thing to them, not out of spite or hatred but because I want my kids to understand that you can't do something bad and expect to get away scot free.

Nicholas
19-10-2006, 06:41 PM
We are now reaping the whirlwind of all those liberals who told us its wrong to tell our child that they are doing wrong. We now have a massive problem with anti social behaviour. You can thank them if anyone.

Shatter Resistant
20-10-2006, 09:59 PM
When I was a kid, we use to get walloped for being naughty by hand or walking stick. My mother use to get the belt and if she spoke at the table, a whack from the back of the hand around the ear.

My kids are not allowed to leave the table without saying "May I be excused", and I will wallop them if they are naughty. Everyone we meet say that they have never met two such polite well mannered children. And why? Because naughty chairs and the crap are complete bollox.

It is so, so, so simple. You need a deterrent. It's decisive, EFFECTIVE, quick and the kid remembers.

Oh, by the way, it's VERY, VERY rare I have to smack them. They have learnt the lesson and it's an effective deterrent, even to mention it to them. In fact, it must be once in a blue moon you have to raise your hand to them.

Nicholas
20-10-2006, 10:01 PM
A good thrashing never hurt me. There has to be some element of fear when punishing a child.

claire
28-10-2006, 06:41 PM
Everything parents do now a days is labled wrong.

von-Scharnhorst
29-10-2006, 06:04 AM
Most of the Western world is worried about falling population, because PEOPLE (NOTE SPELLING) are not wanting bastards.

I wonder bloody why?


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