ID CARDS, the dark side of your personality

Wow. Where to start? Do you want an ID Card? Do I? I don’t know. Maybe if I give the government 27 different pieces of information about myself I can ask them if I want one. I mean, that is the point right? To get to know me better? To know if I’m the type of person who pays his taxes, or owns a dog? Maybe I’m the type of person who swindles his taxes, and kills dogs, for fun at weekends with work colleagues. Does the government have the right to know that about me? Isn’t all of the things you do your identity? Is the point of all this just to know everyone better than they know themselves? Is that what they want!? Ah police state, surveilance, its all going a bit V for Vendetta. And no one wants the future to turn out like that. Stephen Fry gets killed in that movie. And its shit.

Besides, it doesn’t seem like such a big deal. ID Card? As Andre 3000 would say “aint no thing but a chicken wing”. I have to take my Driving Licence everywhere already (well, pretty much) whats another card gonna change? It’ll just slide right into my wallet, no trouble, right next to my Donor Card. One for life, one for death. Its like my whole freakin existence right there in my pocket! How cool is that? I would be thinking…If I was a mugger.

Come on! Stop being so paranoid. All they want is a little info on ya. That’s all. Just a bit. In effect you just sum up your identity in 27 different ways and then give it to the government. That’s seems okay. You probably do that already on Facebook. They’re not asking for that much either, its just a small gesture. Like watching Deliverance when you’ve only ever heard about it, its seems a perfectly pleasant suggestion, going down a river with your friends. But you know where this is heading.

Now I’m not suggesting anyone in the government wants to sodomise you. Or call you a pig. Most of them are in opposition.

I guess if you’re planning to kill someone, or lots of people, or God forbid, not pay your TV licence, (here’s looking at you Noel) then you should get caught. All of those things are against the law. We should be catching those people. And ID Cards will make that easier. But the one reason for ID Cards that is banded about more than any other, is the T word.

Its going to stop the Terrorists. **** yeah. Freedom is the only way, yeah.

I’m sure it will. Stops the terrorists, that is. I mean they’ve already said that eventually, the ID Card will be used to ‘swipe’ in at government buildings, hospitals, airports. I guess if they want to stop terrorists, then you’ll also ‘swipe’ when you get on a bus, or a train? What, no? Oh. Seems a bit weird. Its like they are saying one thing but meaning something completely different. Its like Tobias in Arrested Development.

But not gay. I’ve covered this already. No one in government wants to sodomize you. I can’t make that clear enough.

The other thing about ID Cards is the cost. It’s a lot. They make Waterworld look like an episode of Hollyoaks. And we’re all paying for them. Well, unless you fiddle your taxes that is. But even then you’ll still be forced to pay for the privilege of carrying one. And the fines for not being able to produce one when asked, or for lying about information, or not disclosing information, are all in the region of thousands of pounds. As Fagin said about the Artful Dodger “That’s a nice little earner”.

So Labour are for them. The Tories are against them. The Liberals are…wait, something about orphanages and nuclear power plants? Strange. The Dr is undecided. A second opinion is needed. Its either a swindle, or the whole idea should be put down. Like taxes and dogs. Indeed.