"Surely you should know better, liver is (of course) quite inanimate
and is entirely incabable of self-locomotion. Making your public house
proposition highly preposterous and improbable. This is, however a
widely held misconception amongst certain people. It is, in fact, the
milk that is moving towards the liver.
Milk is actually highly magnetic when placed in a glass container.
However, it usually takes an object high in complex organic iron
compounds to give this a noticable effect. The presence of these
molecules moves the valence electrons of the molecules in the milk
into a highly excited state causing them to emit photons (try putting
the milk under an object which is responsive to ultra-violet
lightinside a partial vacuum chamber, and you will note that the
object will emit a faint glow.
This excited state creates highly unstable ions of strontium-91 which
then begin generate a highly charged electro-magnetic field which
increase pressure on the interior surface of the glass moving it
approximately 3.156277654x10e-12 millimeters per decaliter of liver
towards the liver's center of gravity (mitigated of course by the
friction coefficient of the table or other surface).
Unfortunately in order to observe the Liver-Milk Magneto-Kinetic
Phenomena you will need to have some sort of highly precise optical
measuring device within the confines of a geologically stabilized
environment.
Either that, or quite a lot of liver and milk."
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