TV Debate Predictions

**DTE** · 15-04-2010, 12:35 PM

Ok so its the first live TV debate tonight. Its on ITV at 8.30. Apparently ITV is the one between BBC2 and Ch4 on your TV. I know, I'd never heard of it before either.

So its the first time EVER we've had something like this. Will it be riveting, edge-of-your-seat stuff, or boring lifeless dross? Apparently, there are 76 different ground rules pre-agreed for this organised slanging match. This thread is for people to make Mystic-Meg style predictions for the debate. After its done, the person who foretold the future gets a special prize.

Well actually they won't. But feel free to add some below.

Mine go:

Gordon will sweat. A lot. And he'll repeat the beginning of his sentences to buy himself time to come up with a decent ending. Just like he does on QT. His answers will be fiercely partisan, his smile will look like it was painted on by a child holding a brush for the first time, and he'll look immensely uncomfortable throughout.

Cameron will ooze charm. His particular brand of charm anyway. He'll attack Labour and be good at that, then he'll try to sell his party to the electorate and be worse at that.

Both 'Call one Dave' and 'Cash4Gold Gordo' will be extra lenient on Lib Dem proposals, looking to draw parallels between their respective parties and the liberals, with one eye on a possible hung parliament. Just like they both did yesterday when asked about the Lib Dem manifesto.

Nick Clegg will score well with undecided voters. He'll do well on the subject of Iraq and Aghanistan and with the tax proposals outlined yesterday. He has the danger of coming unstuck on immigration and the economy though.

One person from the audience will swear. Going out on limb for this one...
Cameron will be the first person to mention the BNP.

Not a prediction on the debate itself, but I predict low viewing figures and very little in the way of fireworks. Then again, I said that about Griffin on Question Time so...I'll get me coat

Balthazar · 15-04-2010, 01:21 PM

Cameron will be outrageous, attempting to steal Labour's NHS and fairness clothes. I know, I know, the nasty old Tories pretending to be nice is mind-bogglingly ridiculous but that's what Cameron's been sent in to do: tell the Big Lie as only an Etonian can. It's what they're trained to do from an early age by some of the finest brains in the northern hemisphere.

Nick Clegg - Thatcherite pipsqueak who'll have massive problems with his own party if there's a hung parliament. He's basically finished. So he'll squeak away and it doesn't really matter.

Brown: Hmmmm. I think we've almost reached the 'Ken Livingstone' moment with Gordon Brown. That time in the 1980s when The Sun and the Evening Standard had been so horrible to Ken Livingstone - calling him, among other things, 'the most hated man in Britain' - that Londoners took him to their heart. Each subsequent gutter press attack was worth 1% in the polls and saw him through two successful Mayoral campaigns. So Brown just needs to be himself. If he clobbered Cameron or, as a minimum, shouted "TORY SCUM!" into his face, spraying as much Jock spittle as possible, it would be worth tens of thousands of votes. He'd become a national hero north of the border.

GO GORDON GO!
CLOBBER THE ETON RAT!

NB Brown's been having lessons from both Peter Mandelson AND Alastair Campbell:

PETER MANDELSON: Gordon. You're doing the 'death grin' again!
GORDON BROWN: Sorry Peter!
ALASTAIR CAMPBELL: Headbutt the Eton toe-rag!
GORDON BROWN: But shouldn't I mention the public sector borrowing requirement?
ALASTAIR CAMPBELL: Fu*k the fu*king public sector borrow-fu*k requirefu*kment! Kick him in balls!

**Jim Franklin** · 15-04-2010, 03:07 PM

Originally Posted by Balthazar

Cameron will be outrageous, attempting to steal Labour's NHS and fairness clothes. I know, I know, the nasty old Tories pretending to be nice is mind-bogglingly ridiculous but that's what Cameron's been sent in to do: tell the Big Lie as only an Etonian can. It's what they're trained to do from an early age by some of the finest brains in the northern hemisphere.

Nick Clegg - Thatcherite pipsqueak who'll have massive problems with his own party if there's a hung parliament. He's basically finished. So he'll squeak away and it doesn't really matter.

Brown: Hmmmm. I think we've almost reached the 'Ken Livingstone' moment with Gordon Brown. That time in the 1980s when The Sun and the Evening Standard had been so horrible to Ken Livingstone - calling him, among other things, 'the most hated man in Britain' - that Londoners took him to their heart. Each subsequent gutter press attack was worth 1% in the polls and saw him through two successful Mayoral campaigns. So Brown just needs to be himself. If he clobbered Cameron or, as a minimum, shouted "TORY SCUM!" into his face, spraying as much Jock spittle as possible, it would be worth tens of thousands of votes. He'd become a national hero north of the border.

GO GORDON GO!
CLOBBER THE ETON RAT!

NB Brown's been having lessons from both Peter Mandelson AND Alastair Campbell:

PETER MANDELSON: Gordon. You're doing the 'death grin' again!
GORDON BROWN: Sorry Peter!
ALASTAIR CAMPBELL: Headbutt the Eton toe-rag!
GORDON BROWN: But shouldn't I mention the public sector borrowing requirement?
ALASTAIR CAMPBELL: Fu*k the fu*king public sector borrow-fu*k requirefu*kment! Kick him in balls!

Usual drivel from the hippy left brigade. Forget the policies, just slag everyone else off better like we are in the playground..Typical.

**Barry** · 15-04-2010, 03:33 PM

Not a single question will be given a straight answer.

**Expounder** · 15-04-2010, 03:44 PM

Originally Posted by Balthazar

Cameron will be outrageous, attempting to steal Labour's NHS and fairness clothes. I know, I know, the nasty old Tories pretending to be nice is mind-bogglingly ridiculous but that's what Cameron's been sent in to do: tell the Eatonian Big Lie as only anEtonian can. It's what they're trained to do from an early age by some of the finest brains in the northern hemisphere.

NickClegg Thatcherite pipsqueak who'll have massive problems with his own party if there's a hung parliament. He's basically finished. So he'll squeak away and it doesn't really matter.

Brown:Hmmmm, I think we've almost reached the 'Ken Livingstone' moment with Gordon Brown. That time in the 1980s when The Sun and the Evening Standard had been so horrible to Ken Livingstone - calling him, among other things, 'the most hated man in Britain' - that Londoners took him to their heart. Each subsequent gutter press attack was worth 1% in the polls and saw him through two successful Mayoral campaigns. So Brown just needs to be himself. If he clobbered Cameron or, as a minimum, shouted "TORY SCUM!" into his face, spraying as much Jock spittle as possible, it would be worth tens of thousands of votes. He'd become a national hero north of the border.

GO GORDON GO!
CLOBBER THE ETON RAT!

NB Brown's been having lessons from both Peter Mandelson AND Alastair Campbell:

PETER MANDELSON: Gordon. You're doing the 'death grin' again!
GORDON BROWN: Sorry Peter!
ALASTAIR CAMPBELL: Headbutt the Eton toe-rag!
GORDON BROWN: But shouldn't I mention the public sector borrowing requirement?
ALASTAIR CAMPBELL:ck him in balls!

Like the budget "debate" between Darling and Osbourne [I fell asleep in the middle] it will be boring. It will be a repeat of what they have all said already. It's reading on egg shells time, they will be more concerned about their public demeanour.

**Major Sinic** · 15-04-2010, 05:11 PM

Originally Posted by Balthazar

Cameron will be outrageous, attempting to steal Labour's NHS and fairness clothes. I know, I know, the nasty old Tories pretending to be nice is mind-bogglingly ridiculous but that's what Cameron's been sent in to do: tell the Big Lie as only an Etonian can. It's what they're trained to do from an early age by some of the finest brains in the northern hemisphere.

Nick Clegg - Thatcherite pipsqueak who'll have massive problems with his own party if there's a hung parliament. He's basically finished. So he'll squeak away and it doesn't really matter.

Brown: Hmmmm. I think we've almost reached the 'Ken Livingstone' moment with Gordon Brown. That time in the 1980s when The Sun and the Evening Standard had been so horrible to Ken Livingstone - calling him, among other things, 'the most hated man in Britain' - that Londoners took him to their heart. Each subsequent gutter press attack was worth 1% in the polls and saw him through two successful Mayoral campaigns. So Brown just needs to be himself. If he clobbered Cameron or, as a minimum, shouted "TORY SCUM!" into his face, spraying as much Jock spittle as possible, it would be worth tens of thousands of votes. He'd become a national hero north of the border.

GO GORDON GO!
CLOBBER THE ETON RAT!

NB Brown's been having lessons from both Peter Mandelson AND Alastair Campbell:

PETER MANDELSON: Gordon. You're doing the 'death grin' again!
GORDON BROWN: Sorry Peter!
ALASTAIR CAMPBELL: Headbutt the Eton toe-rag!
GORDON BROWN: But shouldn't I mention the public sector borrowing requirement?
ALASTAIR CAMPBELL: Fu*k the fu*king public sector borrow-fu*k requirefu*kment! Kick him in balls!

You are a naughty little sausage! Here you go trying to provoke a reaction from we nice Tories. Anyone who didn't know you better would think you had nothing serious to say. Anyone as left wing as you is no more likely to support Labour than the Tories.

According to the opinion polls (yawn) David Cameron is the most popular of the three party leaders. He is charming, intelligent and very articulate and will probably put on a good show. Gordon Brown will stutter, and struggle to get his words out and will come off the worst I suspect. Nick Clegg has generally come over well, until I watched him being mauled by Paxman. If he is allowed to speak without interruption he is a good communicator, otherwise he will make little impact.

The whole circus is hardly worth bothering with. We still have three more weeks for several more scandals to explode in the media, and as all the politicians know, the great majority of the British electorate vote emotionally, so rational debate and policies have very little to do with who will ultimately form the next government.