A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Bushcronium".

Bushcronium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an Atomic mass of 311. These 311 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since bushcronium has no electrons it is inert. However, it can be detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of bushcronium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Bushcronium has a normal half life of multiples of four years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact bushcronium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that bushcroniium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quality is referred to as "Critical Morass".

When catalysed with money, bushcronium activates foxnewsium, an element which radiates orders of magnitude, more energy, albeit as incoherent noise, since it has half as many peons, but twice as many morons.