Inland Revenue decides to audit an older man, and summons him to their local office. The Tax Inspector was not surprised when the man showed up with his Solicitor.

The Inspector said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure we find that believable.'

I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says the man. 'How about a demonstration?'

The Inspector thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'

The man says, 'I'll bet you a thousand pounds that I can bite my own eye.'

The Inspector thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.' the man removes his glass eye and bites it. The Inspector's jaw drops. The man says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand pounds that I can bite my other eye.'

Now the Inspector can tell the man isn't blind, so he takes the bet. The man removes his dentures and carefully bites his good eye. The stunned Inspector now realises he's wagered and lost three grand, with the older gentleman's Solicitor as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

'Want to go double or nothing?' the man asks 'I'll bet you six thousand pounds that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'

The Inspector, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

The man stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the Inspector's desk.

The auditor leaps up with excitement, realising that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.

But the man's Solicitor moans and puts his head in his hands. 'Are you okay?' the Inspector asks.

'Not really,' says the Solicitor. 'This morning, when this man told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand pounds that he could come in here and pee all over a Tax Inspector's desk and that he'd actually jump for joy about it!'

That's brilliant