With apologies in advance


Little Ralphy on maths (Part 1)

A teacher asks her class, 'If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?' She calls on little Ralphy.

He replies, 'None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.' The teacher replies, 'The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking Ralphy.'

After a minute little Ralphy says, 'I have a question for you too Miss’.

‘There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?'

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, 'Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.'

To which Little Ralphy replied, 'The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking Miss.'


Little Ralphy on maths (Part 2)

Little Ralphy returns from school and says he got an D in arithmetic.

'Why?' asks his father?

'The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3' 'and I said 6', replies Ralphy.

'But that's right!' says his dad.

'Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?''

'What's the f***ing difference?' asks his father.

'Well, that's exactly what I said!' replied Ralphy.


Little Ralphy on English

Little Ralphy goes to school and his teacher says, 'Class, today we are going to learn multi-syllable words. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?'

Ralphy puts his hand up and says 'Mas-tur-bate.'

His teacher blushes, smiles and says, 'Wow, Ralphy, that's a mouthful.'

Little Ralphy says, 'No Miss, you've got it wrong, I'm afraid you're thinking of a blow-job.'

crude but amusing....