Ahhhhh. The Zombie Apocalypse. Everybody already knows my plan. Land Cruiser, gear, food, guns, and precisely one metric assload of ammunition. As stated earlier, I'll be holed up at the farm in E. Texas. As for weaponry, it'll be .308 for 200-500 meters, probably from the M1A or HK91. Russian 5.45x39 out of the VEPR K for 50-200 meters. This is my favorite caliber as evidenced by the 25,000 rounds I have stacked up in crates. Then I'd transition to the scattergun inside 50 meters. Last ditch is with the Glock 17, but I'm stocked up on some 33-round magazines for that one. Overall, I'd say I'm pretty-well covered in the armament department.

Wow. I forgot how much I loved a good ol' Zombie thread.

I'm only prepared for Zombie type A. Type B aren't real zombies, so preparing for them would be pointless and a waste of time.

Anyway, first raid the local Aldi, you could probably pick up a year's supply of provisions and still have change left from a fiver. Next step is to get armed, if you're in America, thats no problem, the world and his wife have a gun, otherwise, you'll have to ring up the dodgiest person you know, get them to ring the dodgiest person they know, and so on until you get a gun. Or ring the nearest posh country type (like Midas). That is, assuming he would answer his phone and/or isn't dead already.

Then you need to barricade your home or steet, I live in cul-de-sac so thats pretty easy. Get all the locals to help. Bonding over the dire situation you find yourselves in is totally optional at this point. Get rid of anyone slow, old or racist. Zombie films tell us these people won't survive anyway, so its best to do your goodbyes now before all the brain chewing starts (and you'd much prefer your last image of Grandma to be her walking off into the sunset, rather than feasting on your arm like it was made of Werther's Originals). Once your band of survivors are all relatively fit and healthy (this is Britain after all, so work with what you got), you need to hold up in a safe place, and wait for horde of undead to come a knockin'.

Melee weapons are the way to go, they don't jam, don't need ammo, and its a lot harder to miss with a pickaxe than with a pistol. A good call would be to take the rotor blades out of your lawnmower, give 'em a sharpen and then attach them to a rod or a baseball bat, don't use anything wood, it might snap - then presto, you're very own Zombie Lobotomy kit. Final hint, don't go to a place with loads of people, you might think safety in numbers, but thats where the shifty deadwalkers will head too. Also, people always turn on eachother in a time of supernatural induced crisis, so pick a small group of friends/neighbours and try to wait it out. To easy the boredom, play Risk.

Read Max Brooks' Zombie Survival Handbook or World War Z for other helpful tips.

I have a complete and comprehensive plan to tackle any zombies. First off, every family for themselves. You don't want anyone you are sharing safety with to smother you in the night. Only take you wife/girlfriend and kids, if you have any. If it is unavoidable only share with young healthy childless couples (preferably brothers and sisters/nieces and nephews).

As the infection spreads (<25% of the national population) make sure you are one of the first to make large withdrawals before the banks crash. Next buy or steal a large (4-seater) pickup-truck or people carrier, preferably an economical one. Then you need to fill up about 10 jerry cans of fuel at the nearest petrol station. Obey curfews and laws, spend your savings on other supplies. If you break the law at this point you may be executed.

Due to a shortage of firearms you would drive to your closest army depot and park close to it. When the inevitable riot starts outside of the army depot (>25% of the population infected), drive away so you don't get shot at and return in an hour. They you ram any survivors and loot about 5 rifles/smgs and 5 pistols. Any extra armaments can be sold later down the line. Then you loot all the ammo possible.

Finally you head to a shopping centre as far from the centre of infection as possible (preferably on the opposite coast), clear out any looters or bandits and block all doorways with vehicles. Use the shopping centre at your leisure, keeping zombies and looters at a safe number via sniping from the roof.

Rinse and repeat until international action or consistent culling has been achieved. If the latter is the only option then the next objective would be re-establishing power and forming nations/contacting other survivors.

Lol, that was fun...

Originally Posted by syphro

I have a complete and comprehensive plan to tackle any zombies. First off, every family for themselves. You don't want anyone you are sharing safety with to smother you in the night. Only take you wife/girlfriend and kids, if you have any. If it is unavoidable only share with young healthy childless couples (preferably brothers and sisters/nieces and nephews).

As the infection spreads (<25% of the national population) make sure you are one of the first to make large withdrawals before the banks crash. Next buy or steal a large (4-seater) pickup-truck or people carrier, preferably an economical one. Then you need to fill up about 10 jerry cans of fuel at the nearest petrol station. Obey curfews and laws, spend your savings on other supplies. If you break the law at this point you may be executed.

Due to a shortage of firearms you would drive to your closest army depot and park close to it. When the inevitable riot starts outside of the army depot (>25% of the population infected), drive away so you don't get shot at and return in an hour. They you ram any survivors and loot about 5 rifles/smgs and 5 pistols. Any extra armaments can be sold later down the line. Then you loot all the ammo possible.

Finally you head to a shopping centre as far from the centre of infection as possible (preferably on the opposite coast), clear out any looters or bandits and block all doorways with vehicles. Use the shopping centre at your leisure, keeping zombies and looters at a safe number via sniping from the roof.

Rinse and repeat until international action or consistent culling has been achieved. If the latter is the only option then the next objective would be re-establishing power and forming nations/contacting other survivors.

Lol, that was fun...

I was going to suggest a cricket bat!!!.........

Originally Posted by pauli007001

I was going to suggest a cricket bat!!!.........

Bah, humbug! I hate cricket. It is little more than the Motherland's humiliation by the colonies. And I am notoriously bad at catching...

Originally Posted by Syphro

Bah, humbug! I hate cricket. It is little more than the Motherland's humiliation by the colonies. And I am notoriously bad at catching...

Being from the south you probably cheat at cricket and (horror of horrors) dont even beat your wife(not even a little bit).No ferrits down your trousers or pigeons in your loft!!!!Plenty of shandy to sup at your local i guess!!

Originally Posted by pauli007001

Being from the south you probably cheat at cricket and (horror of horrors) dont even beat your wife(not even a little bit).No ferrits down your trousers or pigeons in your loft!!!!Plenty of shandy to sup at your local i guess!!

The trouble with beating your wife is that they tend to complain and in this country the police actually deal with domestics. And we don't drink at locals we drink at raves.

Originally Posted by Syphro

The trouble with beating your wife is that they tend to complain and in this country the police actually deal with domestics. And we don't drink at locals we drink at raves.

Thats Just the Shandy suppin southerners, in Happy Huddersfield we drink at t local, Police actually deal with anything?
Times are a changin, I believe that it is ok to beat your wife in the UK under a few circumstances, more than 6 Stellas, she wants you to beat her(even bought all the trappings,latex/leather ETC) and last but not least,if you were asleep and woke up thinking she was her mother.

Here in Boston you are not allowed to Beat your wife, the town is so Puritan im not sure it is legal to look at her, unless you are a Kennedy, in that case you can look, touch and drive them home in a drunken state with imunity.