Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realise you're wrong.
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There’s a great need for a sarcasm font.
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How the **** are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
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Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
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You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
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I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my hundred page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
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I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What did the caller do after I didn't answer, drop the phone and run away?
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I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
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Am I the only person to keep some people's numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
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I think that if years down the road I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition when at uni.
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Bad decisions make good stories.

Originally Posted by uncon

Because we all know that what we really want is for thick buggers to know when we are being sarcastic

Got it in one