The big bad joke thread

[Nicholas]

I was approached by a member of Greenpeace in the street the other day and he told me that if I don't donate £2 a month then people in Africa will die.

I cant believe Greenpeace employ such violent people

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Just been dumped by my girlfriend today because she found me creepy since I have a nickname for my penis.

Guess now that I'm single again, I'll have to take Matters into my own hands

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Just watched the WKD advert, where the bloke walks in to the toilet to have a **** whilst his wife's taking a relaxing bath.
After laughing at it, my girlfriend turns to me and says, "I bet you a man made this!"

Course a man made it - it's an advert, not a Sunday roast.

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What do you get if you insert human DNA into a goat?

Banned from the petting zoo.

[Nicholas]

A charity single has been released in aid of Pakistan flood relief...

Raindrops keep falling on Ahmed

[Nicholas]

"He's going to let go! Let go! Let go! Let go! YES! He's in the water. ****ing brilliant! What a laugh."

"Calm down dear. What are you watching? You've Been Framed?"

"No. It's the six o'clock news."





sick but funny