Teaching Teenagers About Harassment

[Tete123]

This month, three teenage girls, students at Greensburg Salem High School in Greensburg, Pa., were charged with disseminating child pornography.

They had sent nude pictures of themselves by cellphone to their teenage boyfriends, who were charged with possessing child pornography.

Sending nude pictures, whether it is done under pressure or not, is part of a pattern of teenage behavior that the Family Violence Prevention Fund, a nonprofit domestic violence awareness group based in San Francisco, has labeled digital dating violence. The digital violence can include sending nonstop text messages or posting cruel comments on a boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s Facebook or MySpace page. The behaviors can be a warning sign that a teenager may become a perpetrator or a victim of domestic violence, according to the group.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/27/bu...ref=technology

This is obviously an American article with American examples, but I feel it's an important aspect of modern parenting; how to safeguard your children in an advancing technological world.

Should the government take a more proactive approach in protecting children from potential abuse from teenage BF/GFs or is this soley the responsibility of the parents?

With increased child ownership of mobile phones, most teenagers having facebook or other social networking accounts, is it fair to burden the parents with preventing a child from potential abuse; seeing as the child will more than likely be keeping such things from them? And if it is down to the parents to ensure the digital safety of their children - what sanctions should be taken if they fail?

Please discuss?

[Opinionated]

Should the government take a more proactive approach in protecting children from potential abuse from teenage BF/GFs or is this soley the responsibility of the parents?

With increased child ownership of mobile phones, most teenagers having facebook or other social networking accounts, is it fair to burden the parents with preventing a child from potential abuse; seeing as the child will more than likely be keeping such things from them? And if it is down to the parents to ensure the digital safety of their children - what sanctions should be taken if they fail?

Please discuss?

Thanks for that Tete, interesting read, quite a worry though. Society definately needs to address the speed with which we expect/encourage our children to grow up when emotionally they are so not ready for it, but I don't see how the government can do much.
If it's down to the parents then I suggest re-claiming the word "no" would be a big start. My son is six and I am amazed at the amount of technology his classmates seem to have individual access to. We have decided that it is not necessary for him to have a television in his room until he is in his mid-teens, nor will he require a laptop/ pc for homework until the same age as the family machine will be adequate (ok we may have to introduce timetabling), he has no game consol of his own and is not allowed to play violent games. Our only concession to non-age specific entertainment is his love of Dr. Who (even that tends to be self-censorshiping as he dives behind the sofa). The question is what age does a child require a certain level of privacey, for me I would hope to cultivate a relationship with my child whereby he/she volunteered information but I have no problem requiring him to give me access to his phone on a weekly basis or unannounced inspections etc., it's all about respecting each others boundaries and talking about issues.
We live in a society where mothers think nothing of buying their ten/eleven year olds adult style clothes and underwear, high heeled shoes etc. but burn down offices of paediatricians for fear of paedophilia.
You can't, however make a bad parent parent well. Could it be a fortuitous side effect of the current economic situation that technology might slow down a little allowing us to catch up?

[Tete123]

Safety device or just a must-have gizmo? The parent’s dilemma over pre-teen mobile


(David Bebber/The Times)
The Tobi phone, unlike most mobiles, can block any numbers sending unwanted text messages

It is the modern parental dilemma: at what age should you let your child have his or her first mobile phone? The answer could soon be in single figures with the introduction of a device aimed at “pre-teens”.

Samsung’s Tobi phone, released yesterday at a cost of between £70 and £80, is supposed to ease the minds of concerned parents with several safety features that will make it easier to call parents in an emergency and stop children receiving bullying text messages.

But it is also designed to appeal to primary school pupils, coming in “sweet pink” or “loyal blue” colours with a choice of on-screen themes based on animated characters and the ability to customise the back of the phone with a range of colourful designs. Samsung said that it would be marketing the device at parents but family groups doubt this.

Safety device or just a must-have gizmo? The parent’s dilemma over pre-teen mobile - Times Online

A related article from The Times, outlining the latest offering from Samsung - pre-teen mobiles.

[Tete123]

Admirable parenting Opinionated, but as you say, how to break out the cycle of the "want now" - "need now" attitude of many children and the subsequent capitulation of 'common sense' from parents who provide these kids with technologies at an early age.

Where I think the government can be influential is in providing more health workers, with specific training in identifying and assisting pregnant women and their partner in preparing for the role as parents. This should be extended to extensively cover the first 2 years of the childs life before becoming intermitent over the early development years 2-5.

The initial cost I admit would be high, particularly the additional training of the health workers required but the long term benefits could far outweigh such costs, and the current child allowence (CA) could be redirected to provide actual support/amenities by the state, rather than propping up the family budgets and often not reaching the child and the health workers would in effect come under control of the Childrens Services which is already funded (needs better targetted funding I will agree).

I would also propose:

• discounted / subsidised interactive DVD/PC educational software.
• subsidised books - each child receiving vouchers to buy titles to promote reading habits - and thus improve literacy.
• more support in promoting good dietry understanding and training.
• More time spent with parents explaining the benefits of early interaction with child i.e. reading to child, engaging in playtime with child etc.
• Improved access to museums, theatre and other cultural events - I am thinking assistence with travel costs etc.
• Major reform of the education system; including compulsary pre-school education for all 2 year olds. Graded stages - Children no longer progress through school by year group, but must reach a certain standard before progressing to next stage. Higher funding to the schools that need it the most.

I digress..... I will create another topic regarding School Reform.

I do think that parents should act responsibly and be accountable for what they expose their children to, but it is hard to determine what action to take if the parent refuses or fails to protect their child.

[Midas]

I for one can't see a ready answer to this problem. I know they were older, but in some ways the swapping of pictures of themselves mentioned in the original article is a modern version, using technology, of the old game of 'doctors and nurses' that we sometimes played when I was a kid. OK, part of that was a prurient curiosity as to what bits of girls were different and why, but part of it was a natural learning process. To charge those concerned with possessing child pornography is, IMO, taking matters too far though. From what I gather, the sending of those mobile phone images was on a one to one basis, rather different that posting them on the internet or passing them round specifically as child porn.

I agree with what O74 has to say on the wider issue though, kids these days are growing up far to fast, and much of their childhood is being lost. I have a suspicion that in years to come that might well come back to haunt a lot of people as psychological problems emerge, either in those directly concerned or in respect of how they cope with bringing up their own children.

[Opinionated]

Where I think the government can be influential is in providing more health workers, with specific training in identifying and assisting pregnant women and their partner in preparing for the role as parents. This should be extended to extensively cover the first 2 years of the childs life before becoming intermitent over the early development years 2-5.

This is true, but this government has invested a lot in this area with sure start and children's centre programmes (one of the few good things they acheived in my opinion) and early years teachers are beginning to see the benefits with last Septembers reception intake.

discounted / subsidised interactive DVD/PC educational software.

Absolutely.

subsidised books - each child receiving vouchers to buy titles to promote reading habits - and thus improve literacy.

Again the Labour government has done this as part of their investment in libraries, it is called bookstart.

• more support in promoting good dietry understanding and training.
• More time spent with parents explaining the benefits of early interaction with child i.e. reading to child, engaging in playtime with child etc.
• Improved access to museums, theatre and other cultural events - I am thinking assistence with travel costs etc.

Can't disagree with those.

Major reform of the education system; including compulsary pre-school education for all 2 year olds. Graded stages - Children no longer progress through school by year group, but must reach a certain standard before progressing to next stage. Higher funding to the schools that need it the most.

I completely advocate teaching to ability and acheivement rather than age, which benefits not only the late developer but the gifted child also. I think however that compulsory education from the age of two would be a grave mistake. Much research has suggested that four/five (as is now the case) is too young for formal education. The benefits, both emotional and educative of an infant being cared for by a parent or grandparent for as long as possible are well documented (although obviously more and more Mothers are having out of necessity to leave their child in the care of others whilst they work).

I do think that parents should act responsibly and be accountable for what they expose their children to, but it is hard to determine what action to take if the parent refuses or fails to protect their child.

Obviously final sanction is to make the child a ward of the state!
We really could do with a campaign to reclaim the word "no" as a positive not merely a punishment eg "no I will not surrender".
Those phones look like a good idea, most parents who buy primary aged children mobiles site safety as reason and that would certainly help with that, although you know that it wont be good enough for some of the children as it is too childish (might be good for my old Dad though - technology has largely passed him by).

[proudArab]

We really could do with a campaign to reclaim the word "no" as a positive not merely a punishment eg "no I will not surrender".
.

do you mean parents saying no to the child, or the child saying no when facing peer pressure?

i think both cases are important, but parents need to prepare an answer for their child when he asks why not? other than saying coz i said so, because even if parents insisted on refusing without provding explanation usually children these days find a way to get what they want behind their parent's back, i think each one of us experienced that during childhood.

also it's important to educate the child of how to deal with peer pressure, because for example u said that you don't want your little boy to have a TV in his room, but wouldn't he be able to watch unsupervised things in one of his friend's home? afterall you can't be with your child 24/24.

[Opinionated]

do you mean parents saying no to the child, or the child saying no when facing peer pressure?

Both actually, some parents seem to think that giving their child everything they ask for is the only way to show how much you love them, the consequence of this of course is a generation of spoilt young adults who are not prepared for the real world (for me one of the biggest parts of parental duty, and therefore love, is to help your child grow into a rounded adult and that means saying no sometimes). Hopefully by being shown what is expected of them and praised (not punnished) they will in turn have the confidence to say no to peer pressure.

i think both cases are important, but parents need to prepare an answer for their child when he asks why not? other than saying coz i said so, because even if parents insisted on refusing without provding explanation usually children these days find a way to get what they want behind their parent's back, i think each one of us experienced that during childhood.

I agree with you of course, but sometimes (as is the case in the grown up world) a child needs to accept that the reason they are being told no is because the adult thinks it will benefit the child to be denied something even if the child disagrees. Of course you would have to introduce reasonable bargaining as the child gets older but no still means no.

also it's important to educate the child of how to deal with peer pressure, because for example u said that you don't want your little boy to have a TV in his room, but wouldn't he be able to watch unsupervised things in one of his friend's home? afterall you can't be with your child 24/24.

Absolutely and I have no doubt that given the freedom of someone elses home he will make the most of it and watch/experience things I might not approve of (as I did by watching The Life of Brian and The Young Ones, comedy not Cliff obviously, which were banned in our house) hopefully he will have the strength of character (that's a hard thing to encourage in a child when you are trying to teach good behaviour/manners) and the security that "no" can be a positive force to make good decisions. Of course he will make mistakes we are just trying to create an environment for him where he can learn from them and feel safe doing so.